I have never considered that "looking back"
and longing for former times, was a particularly
constructive occupation in life. But quite often
I have caught myself "trying to work things out"..
- Why did X happen?
- What was the "point" of that?
and similar questions.
After all, learning from the past is a very useful thing,
especially if we wish to transform our lives!
The past few weeks I've found myself looking backwards again,
this time (I hope) from a deeper level of awareness;
partly in order to take a renewed look at
the possible wisdom past experiences may have for me
from another vantage-point in my own space-time,
and partly to re-visit my own resurrected memories
in the light of what I have been studying recently -
an eclectic mix of everything from String Theory,
Kabala & the Essenes via David Wilcock & Gregg Braden,
to movements within Anglican Christendom like
the formation of The Anglican Church in North America,
and how all of these experiences together might
connect with my immersion in the Anglo-Catholicism
of the churches I was so intimately part of in my youth.
All Saints' Day at All Saints, Margaret Street, London, UKthis curious title for a blog entry:
I was immediately triggered into action!
Following the links I found a striking book-title,
a book that turned out to be available for download
as a pdf:
The Church Impotent:
The Feminization of Christianity
by
Leon J Podles
Strange feelings in my stomach - I just had to start reading this!!!
As it turned out, the first chapter gave me
what I was unconsciously seeking -
not that I agreed with Leon Podles, but he helped me
start a process towards some kind of unifying feeling (or theory?)
that might perhaps be able to encompass the disparate
claims on my inner loyalty with regard to
I also read a paper by David Hilliard called
UnEnglish & Unmanly: Anglo-Catholicism & Homosexuality
and found myself suddenly understanding hitherto
half-veiled aspects of my childhood's church experiences -
the sacred crucible which intertwined with my own
unbridled inner imaginative childhood worlds.
50 years ago I was aware of sexuality between males
in these Anglo-Catholic churches, but since the world of
Church and choir-school and private school were such
enclosed spaces and, in many ways, so safe from outside harm,
it didn't feel as tho' this sexual expression was especially unnatural.
And, a few years later in private school, I noticed that
when otherwise enclosed teenage boys were "let out"
many of them "roamed the village" in search of female company!
The only people who seemed outwardly concerned that
there might be sexual goings-on between the "inmates"
were priests and teachers who the child in me felt to be
"odd in some way" - though I couldn't put my finger on
what this "oddity" might be.
What I was acutely aware of, was a feeling of the way
everyone in these enclosed worlds seemed to have
a mission to "do it better", "properly" or "more completely"
- as though the outside world of "ordinary Anglicanism"
and the "ordinary schools" didn't either know or, perhaps,
didn't wish to know the deeper truths of what they were doing,
and the "proper practices" (like in the esoteric societies)
which were the portals into the veiled worlds of truth "beyond."
When I read David Hillard's paper, I was immediately
struck by an extraordinary paradox which I so recognized
but had forgotten beneath piles of "ordinary living."
The paradox was that of the genuine male homosexual Christian
who fled to and immersed himself in the rituals and faith-life
of a church which held that almost all forms of sexuality
were forbidden by God except in child-bearing marriage.
Why?
Because their YEARNING was given space to grow among
accepting others who were in exactly the same predicament.
And more, there was a place to sublimate this yearning in the
ever-increasing ecstasy in the ritual service of God
where the music and ceremonies, the smells and postures,
the incantations and processions and bowings and knee-bending
allowed the BODY to experience Divine Bliss here and now!
I can assure anyone who doesn't know what this feels like
that real Anglo-Catholic Divine Worship experience can be
as ecstatic an experience as any sexual orgasm!
(It isn't just the charismatic fundamentalists who "know" this!)
These experiences are "mystical states" just like the
medieval mystic saints write of (especially the women!)
Here we're experiencing Divine Comm-union with God.
I have often wondered what the real reason was
for the "high church" factions of Anglicanism to reject
the idea of male-female equality within the priesthood.
Claiming that Jesus only had 12 male disciples,
when the women round him had such a prominent role,
does not really sound or feel totally genuine.
It was recently, when the Church of England decided
that women were to be eligible also to become Bishops,
that I suddenly understood the deeper unspoken reason
for the mass desperation among "orthodox" Anglo-Catholics.
And this, in turn, meant nowhere to go to express or sublimate
the inner yearning to do it better with every fibre of one's body!
After 30 years in Sweden, I know may women who are priests -
and now in both the Anglican and Lutheran churches.
Many of them are, in my humble opinion, far more suited
to their ministry than some of the male priests I know,
and I believe deeply that they have been called by God.
Yet I mourn the marginalising of the male Anglo-Catholic sanctuary.
I do not believe that the traditional view of sexuality held
by the churches (almost certainly because of St Paul's
self-attested control and self-denial of his own sexuality)
is in true accordance with God's wider vision and wisdom.
Yet I mourn the taking-away of the excitement and vibration
of places where a specific and very special longing to "keep chaste"
in total acknowledgement of one's sexuality, may be honoured
and its energy formed into something even greater -
the opportunity to taste and know the Divine in ritual worship.
Yes - "know" God in the "biblical sense"!
Single-mindedness and focus (however often one may fail,
or fall "into temptation" to give up and give in) are not
easy virtues to live up to, outside in a seemingly hostile world,
when one is accustomed to a safe church other-wordly haven.
Deep down I feel deep admiration for those who will not move
from their conviction, even if it means losing jobs or "having to"
change churches to find a second home. And I must express
gratitude to them for their part in my own mystical experiences.
If you've read this far, you may be wondering how this all
relates to David Willcock and Nityama and Gregg Braden,
and to modern astrophysics as in String Theory.
The key to this is the 2012 Myth.
No, not "myth as in untruth" but
"Myth as a tool for deep alchemical storytelling"
where, the unravelling and knowing of ever-deepening truth
not just in one's mind but inside one's body,
at the same time as becoming more and more "divine"
is living-life-as-a-ceremony-of-connectedness-with-God
as it becomes totally transformed and new and fulfilled.
And this is exactly what my childhood Anglo-Catholic friends
were tasting the first-fruits of, and longing for
at ever deeper levels!
I will explain in the next blog-post.
Blessings
John
The Feminization of Christianity
by
Leon J Podles
Strange feelings in my stomach - I just had to start reading this!!!
As it turned out, the first chapter gave me
what I was unconsciously seeking -
not that I agreed with Leon Podles, but he helped me
start a process towards some kind of unifying feeling (or theory?)
that might perhaps be able to encompass the disparate
claims on my inner loyalty with regard to
- deeply sacred liturgy connecting time and space
( or shamanic ancestral lineage and tradition - if you will)
- affirming sexual difference while embracing
the Oneness and utter Validity of all genders
(One of Shantam Nityama's constant themes)
- understanding the social conditioning which may have
influenced my "choice" of Life Purpose
(see http://www.christaltemple.com/John_Overton.htm )
and
- my preoccupation with both the body and
the non-physical as equal spiritual dimensions
(rather than the current mind-preocupation "over" the body.)
( or shamanic ancestral lineage and tradition - if you will)
- affirming sexual difference while embracing
the Oneness and utter Validity of all genders
(One of Shantam Nityama's constant themes)
- understanding the social conditioning which may have
influenced my "choice" of Life Purpose
(see http://www.christaltemple.com/John_Overton.htm )
and
- my preoccupation with both the body and
the non-physical as equal spiritual dimensions
(rather than the current mind-preocupation "over" the body.)
I also read a paper by David Hilliard called
UnEnglish & Unmanly: Anglo-Catholicism & Homosexuality
and found myself suddenly understanding hitherto
half-veiled aspects of my childhood's church experiences -
the sacred crucible which intertwined with my own
unbridled inner imaginative childhood worlds.
50 years ago I was aware of sexuality between males
in these Anglo-Catholic churches, but since the world of
Church and choir-school and private school were such
enclosed spaces and, in many ways, so safe from outside harm,
it didn't feel as tho' this sexual expression was especially unnatural.
And, a few years later in private school, I noticed that
when otherwise enclosed teenage boys were "let out"
many of them "roamed the village" in search of female company!
The only people who seemed outwardly concerned that
there might be sexual goings-on between the "inmates"
were priests and teachers who the child in me felt to be
"odd in some way" - though I couldn't put my finger on
what this "oddity" might be.
What I was acutely aware of, was a feeling of the way
everyone in these enclosed worlds seemed to have
a mission to "do it better", "properly" or "more completely"
- as though the outside world of "ordinary Anglicanism"
and the "ordinary schools" didn't either know or, perhaps,
didn't wish to know the deeper truths of what they were doing,
and the "proper practices" (like in the esoteric societies)
which were the portals into the veiled worlds of truth "beyond."
When I read David Hillard's paper, I was immediately
struck by an extraordinary paradox which I so recognized
but had forgotten beneath piles of "ordinary living."
The paradox was that of the genuine male homosexual Christian
who fled to and immersed himself in the rituals and faith-life
of a church which held that almost all forms of sexuality
were forbidden by God except in child-bearing marriage.
Why?
Because their YEARNING was given space to grow among
accepting others who were in exactly the same predicament.
And more, there was a place to sublimate this yearning in the
ever-increasing ecstasy in the ritual service of God
where the music and ceremonies, the smells and postures,
the incantations and processions and bowings and knee-bending
allowed the BODY to experience Divine Bliss here and now!
I can assure anyone who doesn't know what this feels like
that real Anglo-Catholic Divine Worship experience can be
as ecstatic an experience as any sexual orgasm!
(It isn't just the charismatic fundamentalists who "know" this!)
These experiences are "mystical states" just like the
medieval mystic saints write of (especially the women!)
Here we're experiencing Divine Comm-union with God.
I have often wondered what the real reason was
for the "high church" factions of Anglicanism to reject
the idea of male-female equality within the priesthood.
Claiming that Jesus only had 12 male disciples,
when the women round him had such a prominent role,
does not really sound or feel totally genuine.
It was recently, when the Church of England decided
that women were to be eligible also to become Bishops,
that I suddenly understood the deeper unspoken reason
for the mass desperation among "orthodox" Anglo-Catholics.
Their beloved safe havens were no longer "safe"!
And this, in turn, meant nowhere to go to express or sublimate
the inner yearning to do it better with every fibre of one's body!
After 30 years in Sweden, I know may women who are priests -
and now in both the Anglican and Lutheran churches.
Many of them are, in my humble opinion, far more suited
to their ministry than some of the male priests I know,
and I believe deeply that they have been called by God.
Yet I mourn the marginalising of the male Anglo-Catholic sanctuary.
I do not believe that the traditional view of sexuality held
by the churches (almost certainly because of St Paul's
self-attested control and self-denial of his own sexuality)
is in true accordance with God's wider vision and wisdom.
Yet I mourn the taking-away of the excitement and vibration
of places where a specific and very special longing to "keep chaste"
in total acknowledgement of one's sexuality, may be honoured
and its energy formed into something even greater -
the opportunity to taste and know the Divine in ritual worship.
Yes - "know" God in the "biblical sense"!
Single-mindedness and focus (however often one may fail,
or fall "into temptation" to give up and give in) are not
easy virtues to live up to, outside in a seemingly hostile world,
when one is accustomed to a safe church other-wordly haven.
Deep down I feel deep admiration for those who will not move
from their conviction, even if it means losing jobs or "having to"
change churches to find a second home. And I must express
gratitude to them for their part in my own mystical experiences.
If you've read this far, you may be wondering how this all
relates to David Willcock and Nityama and Gregg Braden,
and to modern astrophysics as in String Theory.
The key to this is the 2012 Myth.
No, not "myth as in untruth" but
"Myth as a tool for deep alchemical storytelling"
where, the unravelling and knowing of ever-deepening truth
not just in one's mind but inside one's body,
at the same time as becoming more and more "divine"
is living-life-as-a-ceremony-of-connectedness-with-God
as it becomes totally transformed and new and fulfilled.
And this is exactly what my childhood Anglo-Catholic friends
were tasting the first-fruits of, and longing for
at ever deeper levels!
I will explain in the next blog-post.
Blessings
John
